“How will my doula work with my partner?”
No matter the role your partner plans to play during your labor and birth, a doula will be beneficial. If you’re reading this, you will probably agree that your partner is a very important part of your birth team. As your doula, my priority is providing support in the ways that best suit you and to meld into the team you have chosen. A huge part of that is finding ways to best work with your partner. After all, we will likely be the two people most consistently present with you while you labor. During our prenatal visits, it is best I meet with both you and your partner. We will discuss your Birth Wishes and how you both envision your partner’s supports.
Is your partner intuitive and a natural caregiver? In that case, I will be there to assist. For example, an extra set of hands for massage, an extra body to lean on, and back up support if your partner needs rest during a long labor. The two of you will have a newborn to care for after birth, and at least one of you needs to have energy for that! I also have the experience and training to suggest different comfort measures for the various stages of labor.
Does your partner need a little more direct guidance? I will give suggestions on best positions to help you into, on where to apply counter pressure or massage, I will offer encouragement when your partner feels unsure, and remind them to offer the love and support they always do to get you through rough times.
Will your partner struggle with seeing you in any pain? It may be hard for your partner to distinguish the difference between pain and suffering, and wish they could do anything to ease your discomfort. As the birthing person, watching your partner become more anxious or fearful as your active labor progresses may create fear or tension within you. This contributes to the fear-tension-pain cycle, increasing your level of pain. As a doula, I am there to help everyone feel calm and reassured during the normal progression of labor. By providing support to you and your partner, I can help both of you navigate the line between pain and suffering. There is a normal level of discomfort to be felt in labor, but we use coping techniques to manage and move you through labor without feeling as though your are suffering. It will be important for me to guide your partner in supporting you so that any fears they may have do not become your own.
What is most important for both of you to know is that I will not replace your partner. My goal is to work as a cohesive team that creates a comforting and empowering environment for you to birth how you want to! We will all have time to get to know each other during your prenatal visits so that we are all in sync on the big day! Be sure to schedule a phone or in person consult if you have any questions.
